Yeah, that feeling strike me again. I really doubt myself at my job. I still think that this isn’t what I want. Okay, I’m not that bad but what I trying to said was that I feel like in a trap. Compared with `ikigai` diagram, I lack of the thing I love to do.
At first time, I kind of `forces` to study informatics at vocational high school. But in that moment my survival instinct said that I should passed my high school. I don’t like it, but doesn’t mean that I should waving white flag earlier. Then my study continue until I get my bachelor.
I invested huge amount of time in computer science. 9 years at class, and about 4 years at works. I can say that I’m good enough with computer. Not that super good, but properly good. That leads me to jump in at software engineer job. Wise man once said, `never do the thing you good at for free`. For now, I can say that I’m good enough at it and it can pay my bills.
So, the next subset is `is it what the world needs?`. Precisely. Now we are living in the world of data. Software play its huge role at it. In the middle of pandemic, I can confidently said that software engineer is the last job that got affected.
The last subset is `is it what you love?`. I still trying to. I should try harder, because it will be completed my ikigai. Some people go from what they love, but me take my first step from what I good at. Maybe someone go from what people needs. Who knows? We have our own path to achieve that ikigai balance.